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After the tragic Charlie Hebdo shootings, there has been a call by some people to make all Muslims all over the world apologise for the incident. I completely agree with the sentiment. It is the only way to root out terrorism for once and for all.

Nothing could make all the victims of terrorist attacks all over the world happier than watching every single Muslim in the world say “sorry.” To really drive the point home, we can even send them greeting cards with our heartfelt apologies.
I am sure the world would reciprocate in kind. We can start an apology trend. Once every single Muslim in the world apologises for Charlie Hebdo then we can move on to making every single Christian in the world apologise for Hitler. Hitler’s moustache is for the Christians what an unkempt beard is for the Muslims. I have no idea why mass murderers are so keen on making fashion statements too.
The British can fly all Brits to all their previous colonies and make them all apologise to every single member of those countries. It might be much harder for the Americans to do the same considering the amount of things they have to apologise for. They can make a world tour out of it: Syria, Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Iran, Vietnam, Palestine, Cuba, Mexico, Spain, England. At this stage it is easier to just name the countries America does not need to apologise for.
“Sorry” should be the first word we should teach all future Muslim kids. We should roam around wearing shirts which say “sorry”, better yet maybe even permanently tattoo “sorry” on our foreheads.
I personally feel responsible for every single person of my faith who does anything. While I am at it, I want to say sorry to every person who got his slippers stolen at the masjid but if and only if you can confirm that the person who stole your slipper was a Muslim. He must have been shouting “Allah o Akbar” while stealing them for you to be sure.
I now fully comprehend why our justice system has such a huge bottleneck of cases. If every single Muslim is responsible for every single thing done by any Muslim, I do not blame the judges for all the delays. The entire Muslim population of the world has to be included as defendants in every case.
I hope Pakistan’s military courts are much more effective. I hope they can follow the efficient model of North Korea, who use the “three generations of punishment” rule. It is the only way to ensure the collective responsibility for one’s actions. Clearly if a person commits a crime, then people who brought that person into the world must be guilty too. And any person a criminal brings to the world is obviously a criminal too.
Pakistan believes in having family businesses: an engineer’s son is an engineer, a politician’s son is a politician ergo a terrorist’s son must be a terrorist. Why should the unborn not suffer just because they do not exist yet?
Every single Muslim that is yet to be born should be brought up being taught to apologise for everything. Why just limit it to Charlie Hebdo? Muslims should apologise for all the ills caused by Muslims to the world.
To make life easier for all parents, I am drafting a generic apology that they can make their kids memorise.
“My name is (Insert Islamically acceptable name here) and I was born into a Muslim family so that makes me guilty of all the things Muslims have ever done. Before you put me in Guantanamo Bay, I just want to say I am deeply sorry.
I would like to apologise for inventing astronomy. The guilt of Al-Sufi naming all the visible stars in 10th century and Abu-Mahmud Khojandi calculating the tilt of the Earth’s axis in 994 AD is something that I still carry with me. It was because if their crimes against humanity that these terrorists are able to accurately calculate the dates for their attacks.
I would like to apologise for Ibn al-Haytham’s contribution to optical science. Had he not discovered all human beings actually see, how would these terrorists be able to see who they were killing? Clearly these Muslim terrorist organisations have been active since the 10th century. Had Al-Haytham not figured out that light travels in straight lines, we would not have the cameras of today that terrorists use to promote their organizations. Al-Haytham was basically the first member of ISIS.
I would like to apologise for Al-Jazari’s water-raising machines, his use of cranks to push water up helped agriculture and in turn fed all these terrorists: While I am on the subject, sorry about creating hospitals too. They are just a needless obstacle in the way of killing terrorists. I have no idea what 10th century Muslim civilisations were thinking providing free 24-hour universal health care to people. At least I am happy they were self-conscious of this insanity and also created the first hospitals for the mentally ill in the world.
The use of the Al Jazari’s ideas lead to the creation of the bicycle giving the world the horrible form of terrorism called the Tour de France. If watching grown men cycling across a country wearing yellow jerseys is not torture, I do not know what is.
I would like to apologise for the invention of windmills, guitars, the hookah and coffee.
I would like to apologise for the role of Muhammad Ibn Musa al-Khwarizmi in the development of algebra and algorithms. If he was alive, I am sure he would be selected for a random spot check in an airport relying on his work for their daily calculations.
I would like to apologise for Al-Jahiz’s theory of the “struggle for existence”. I am sorry for even mentioning it. I realise it is completely contrary to the Science and Islam binary narrative perpetuated freely by networks such as Fox News. How dare I mention that the theory of natural selection actually has roots in a 9th century book of animals called Kitab al-Hayawan.
I would like to apologise for the University of Al Karaouine, recognised as the world’s oldest university that granted degrees to individuals, way back in 859. I am sure they were just handing out degrees in terrorism anyway.
Sorry about the Caliph Harun al-Rashid founding the House of Wisdom in the 9th century. It was his ill intentions that led to the west being exposed to the works of the Greek philosophers. If it wasn’t for him kids in the west would not be terrorised by the works of Socrates, Plato and Aristotle throughout their school lives. I feel their pain.
Sorry for all the art also. And the architecture. All the mosques were meant to be terrorist headquarters anyway so I am glad you took all the inspiration from them and took the techniques out of the religious context. I am not even interested in anything that happened before the Renaissance in Europe. If you tell me it happened out of nowhere then I have no need to trace the traditions back anyway. It is not like things happen in a historical context relying on all the traditions gone by.
I sound like a crazy person even attempting to compare Andy Warhol’s techniques to the repetition of patterns and pictures prevalent in mosques and Islamic architecture so I am going to shut up about it. We all know Muslims hate art anyway.
Trying to read calligraphy is also terrorism, so sorry about that too.
Lastly, I would also like to apologise for the Arabs discovering how to distil water and create alcohol out of fermented fruits. All the Muslims should definitely apologise for all the drunk driving accidents caused around the world
I could go on but I think you realise how sorry I am about everything. I hope you would be able to accept me as one of your own in a way that would make you feel that you are celebrating diversity but in reality you are promoting uniformity. Thank you for letting me retain my token identity while robbing me of my historical traditions. I hope all the future Muslim generations never get to learn about those traditions so that they find it much easier than me to simply associate all things Islam with merely terrorism. It would make it easier to apologise for them.
Apologetically yours,
(English name I have taken up to make you like me more.)”
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SANAA, Yemen (AP) — Yemen's president (Abd Rabbuh Mansur Hadi)  resigned on Thursday under pressure from Shiite rebels who seized the capital in September and have confined the embattled leader to his home for the past two days.

Presidential officials said Abed Rabbo Mansour Hadi, a close U.S. ally in the fight against Yemen's powerful al-Qaida affiliate, submitted his resignation to parliament after being pressured to make further concessions to the rebels, known as Houthis, who are widely believed to be backed by Iran, charges they deny.

Hadi had earlier pledged political concessions in return for the rebels withdrawing from his house and the nearby presidential palace following days of clashes, but Houthi fighters remained deployed around both buildings throughout Thursday.

Military officials close to the president said Hadi resigned after the Houthis pressured him to give a televised speech to calm the streets. They said the Houthis also demanded appointments in his own office, the Defense Ministry and provincial capitals, demands Hadi rejected.

The officials spoke on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to speak to the media.

Yemeni law says the parliament speaker -- Yahia al-Rai, a close ally of ousted President Ali Abdullah Saleh -- would assume the presidency, but the Houthis effectively control the capital, several other cities and state institutions.

View galleryHouthi Shiite Yemeni wearing army uniforms stand atop …
Houthi Shiite Yemeni wearing army uniforms stand atop an armored vehicle, which was seized from the  …
The Yemeni government submitted its resignation earlier on Thursday.

Prime Minister Khaled Bahah's resignation came as U.N. envoy Jamal Benomar met with representatives from the Houthis and other political factions to try to implement a deal reached Wednesday to end the crisis.

Under the agreement -- struck while the rebels confined Hadi in his private home -- the group's militias were to withdraw from the presidential palace and key areas of the capital they have overrun in recent days in return for political concessions.

Bahah's technocratic government was formed in November as part of an earlier United Nations-brokered peace deal after the Houthis overran the capital in September.

Bahah, a political independent, posted his resignation on his official Facebook page, saying he had held office in "very complicated circumstances." He says he resigned in order to "avoid being dragged into an abyss of unconstructive policies based on no law."

"We don't want to be a party to what is happening or will happen," he added.

The Federal Government yesterday announced the reduction of  fuel price from N97 per litre to N87 per litre.
The announcement which was made by the Minister of Petroleum Resources, Mrs Dieziani Alison-Maduke takes effect from midnight today and has continued to generate comments from Nigerians who are obviously still shocked by the new development.

See What Nigerians Are Saying 

Social Commentator, Japheth Omojuwa says
 “From paying virtually no subsidies, the Nigerian government has now fashioned out away to pay N10/litre subsidies”.

Hafiz Adaji  seem not impressed by the price reduction, 

“Dropping fuel price to 87 Naira/Ltr doesn’t justify the bad leadership led by his administration. You are still not worthy of my vote GEJ”.

IT Expert, Oriname Agbi sums it up in one sentence,  

“My vote is not worth N10″ 
TV Presenter, Temisan Okomi looks at the funny side  

“One wishes elections happened every month. Fuel pump price reduced?! Nna mehn. Let them keep campaigning for two more years. Please”.

 Eniola Ositelu has a message for the petroleum minister, 

“I hope Madam Alison & co know that we that have made up our mind to vote for change won’t change our minds despite drop in fuel price”

Ikechi Ugwoeje refers back to history,  
“So GEJ joins Yar’adua as the only Nigerian Presidents to reduce fuel price. Wonder how much this will help his campaign”. 

Joshua Awolowo is concerned about the take-off time for the new price, 

“There has been a reduction of ten naira #10 from the price of Petrol, Now its 87, meant to take effect immediately”.

Tina Ese results to mathematics,  
“if someone buys a liter of fuel would he give them the exact #87 or would they give him coins? So the #87 still boils down to 90..E no good”.

Gbenga Olorunpomi says the President is playing into the hands of his opponent, 

“Only after the election has been lost will they agree but GEJ IS Buhari’s biggest campaigner. Argue with your generator”.

Mukhtar Daniyan popularly knows as Mr, Ayee Dee is concerned about the opposition’s reaction,  

“Let’s see how APC will spin the reduction of pump price of petrol from N97 to N87… Maybe they’ll say it’s because elections are coming…”

Writer Tolu Ogunlesi is even looking ahead,  
“One Day One Surprise. First, Maiduguri. Now, Petrol. Wednesday: VAT cancellation. You’ll say I said so”.

Renowned Sports Journalists, Toyin Ibitoye is concerned about the reaction of the marketers,

 “Reduction in pump price of petrol announced today..Jan 18,2015. Now let’s see how long it will take the marketers to adjust those pumps”.

Senator Bukola Saraki who joined other Nigerians asking the government to reduce the petrol price earlier celebrated the news by saying,  

“Change is indeed possible. Few hours ago, Joined other Nigerians to demand that PMS price be reduced. Just heard it has been reduced to N87″.

What is your reaction to the recent reduction in price of  petrol? 
Swedish Prisons are for rehabilitation, not for punishment. Sweden is now closing its prisons, due to lack of prisoners.

The Swedish prison population has dropped by nearly a sixth since it peaked at 5,722 in 2004. In 2012, there were 4,852 people in prison in Sweden, out of a population of 9.5 million. The US has a prison population of 2,239,751, equivalent to 716 people per 100,000. China ranks second with 1,640,000 people behind bars, or 121 people per 100,000, while Russia’s inmates are 681,600, amounting to 475 individuals per 100,000. Brazilian prisons hold 548,003 citizens, 274 people per 100,000; finally, India’s prison population amounts to 385,135, with a per capital rate of just 30 inmates per 100,000 citizens.

Sweden doesn’t have the Death Penalty, neither it has any real punishment or real prison for criminals. But Sweden has less crimes than other countries. It is because Swedish society is an equal society, there is no big gap between rich and poor, obviously Sweden is a good welfare state and needless to say that there is more equality between men and women in Sweden than most countries in the world. Sweden has been experiencing less violent crimes than before. Theft and drugs offenses still exist though.

We have learned from Sweden that if we can create equality in society, the crime rates will go down. If we can create equality in the world, there will be no crime, and there will be no prison. I am dreaming of that crimeless prisonless beautiful world.

Popular Yoruba actress of Aristo fame, Iyabo Ojo has confessed to Potpourri in a private BBM chat that her new movie ‘Silence’ premiered some weeks ago and currently showing at the cinemas across the country cost her several millions of Naira.
 The film which gives lucid picture of child abuse in our society and it effects on the victims, has been largely applauded by those who have seen it for its its uniqueness in production quality and plot.
Without disclosing the actual amount that went into the production of the movie, she told Potpourri the movie gulped millions of naira. “Several millions went into the production of the movie. I don’t want to disclose the actual amount but it gulped some millions,” she said.

Child abuse experiences
According to her, the script was inspired by cases of child abuse experiences that were shared with her by some women she had come across. “Few young ladies I have come across told me their stories, how they were abused as a child. They told me of different side effects it had on them and how scared they were to share it with their families and close friends. I wrote the script myself,” she explained.

Adding, “ Silence is particularly special to me because it is my first English movie with a little Yoruba content. It also treats one of the most sensitive problems in Nigeria- child abuse.

One movie buff who has seen the movie has this to say: “ The story is not the normal Nigerian Nollywood story, brilliant plot,good acting and I give it to Iyabo Ojo and her crew for putting up such a project.The two people who ‘killed’ the movie with their great acting are Joe Benjamin and the girl that played Iyabo’s daughter”. The movie stars Iyabo Ojo, Priscilla Ojo, Joseph Benjamin, Alex Usifo, Tina Mba, Bukky Wright and a host of others.

Governor Rotimi Amaechi of Rivers state has refused letting PDP use the state owned Adokiye Amiesimaka Stadium, Igwurita-Ali for its presidential campaign slated for January 28th.
According to Thisday, PDP had written to the state government seeking permission to use the stadium for its presidential campaign but in its response, the government said the party could not use it as it was under construction, a position faulted by the PDP.
According to PDP, the APC had used that same stadium twice recently. Speaking on the matter, the state Chairman of PDP, Felix Obuah, said the stadium was built with Tax payers money and so should be available for use to everyone.
“The facilities of Rivers State are owned by all of us; all tax-paying people. The Adokiye Amiesiemaka Stadium belongs to Rivers people; Rivers State money was used to build it. It was not meant for the Buhari campaign manager; it is not his personal property. They used it for their own rally and their own celebrations. We have applied to use the place for our rally, come 28th of this month. But the governor, in his act of impunity, has refused us the use of that place.”.
The Chairman warned that if the decision of Governor Amaechi is not rescinded, they would use the stadium with or without any approval.